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i want to remember

I want to remember the new friend you introduced
i want to remember the laughters we shared
i want to remember the paths to my future
i want to remember the taste of popping caviars in my mouth
i want to remember the bitterness of the Mocca coffee we both loved so much
i want to remember the fragrants from the jasmine tea we had in planet sushi!
i want to remember how embarresed i feel when the towel wrapping me fell to the floor!
i want to remember the noise you made when i was sleeping
i want to remember sunbeam on my face in the summer
i want to remember the shapes of all the snow flakes which fell onto your coat
i want to remember the sweetness of plain bread shared with you
i want to remember the hard fall we had while skating.
i want to remember the bittersweet taste of my first beer
i want to remember how scared i was in the dental clinic and u held my hand
i want to remember how much i cried when i dissapoint myself
i want to remember how tight was skirt /jeans are(they are still too tight!)
i want to remember how warm my heart felt when i hold your hands in the winter
i want to remember the joy we had when we cook our meals together
i want to remember the conversation we had to secretly plan suprise for each other
i want to remember the words you wrote for me by your hands which came from your thoughts
i want to remember the sting of the chocolate ice cream we had in the freezing cold of russian winter
i want to remember the sound of rubs between our boots and the snow on the path
i want to remember the excitement i felt while waiting for the weekends to end
i want to remember how u would carry me to avoid the melting snow
i want to remember the burn on my tongue from the hot chocolate you ordered
i want to remember the jokes we cracked
i want to remember how u pretended u dont care when i brought home my report book with excellent results
i want to remember how u would protect me from harm
i want to remember the stench of your shirt after u and and winnie fell into the drain to do what i can do!
i want to remember how much your cuteness have touch my heart each time i look at you
i want to remember how hard i worked to buy you your first bike
i want to remember how delicious a plain tea would taste in the winter
i want to remember how my heart fluttered each time u responded to my kisses
i want to remember when we were young and we hid mom's rattan sticks!
i want to remember how i held you in my arms while you were still a baby sleeping
i want to remember how much u love to share your favourite dish with me
i want to remember how soft your hands felt on my face
i want to remember how warm the wet towel on my forehead when i was having fever
i want to remember the break of my heart when u seemed like u dont care much
i want to remember the rules that we bend together in school
i want to remember your smile when you had chocolates on your teeth
i want to remember how it taste like to kiss your smile
i want to remember how your face smells like when u just had your perfume sprayed
i want to remember all the sights we gasped
i want to remember how it felt like to hold a huge carriage belonged to a 70 years old woman in the metro
i want to remember how tired i felt when time was running short on me
i want to remember how hard it is to open a plastic knot without fingernails
i want to remember the colours on the sunfish we saw at the aquanarium
i want to remember how hard i tried to look my best to meet u in an hour
i want to remember knocking on you while u were in the toilet and i was late.
i want to remember how hard these russian sushki biscuit even if they were dipped in the coffee
i want to remember the loud sigh each time i dropped to my bed
i want to remember the names on my prayers list and those i didnt mention after i fell asleep
i want to remember how happy i felt when u were happy too
i want to remember how my heart breaks when i see pearly tears on your face
i want to remember how red your face was after the winter wind blew!
i want to remember how you heart beats up a pace when i held u close in the cinema
i want to remember how you would praise the simple i made for u
i want to remember how much hassle to dress up in the winter
i want to remember much it costs us to bring home a puppy
i want to remember how much i missed doing things i used to love
i want to remember the salty breeze i tasted while being on the ferry
i want to remember how we used to laugh at the jellyfishes floating up and down
i want to remember how sweet a cup of water taste when we were thirsty
i want to remember how many promises i broke so i can still mend them slowly
i want to remember how much guilt i felt for taking something precious from you
i want to remember how weird i felt when i over dressed for a small occasion
i want to remember how you used to sweat after having my super spicy cooking
i want to remember how the bathtub sparkle after you ve brushed them clean
i want to remember how much freetime i used to have when we were younger
i want to remember how wasabi can make me cry
i want to remember how beautiful the frosts on the windows of the public busses
i want to remember how the ducks in the lake swam away when we approach them!
I want to remember how comfort it was being hugged by you
i want to remember how i laughed hard when we had diarrhea after taking slimming tea!
i want to remember the smell of chlorine in the pool where i used to swim
i want to remember the vanilla tea u made for me each time i dropped by
i want to remember the kick of 10++cups of coffee in the coffeeton
i want to remember how sweet it was the cup of cocoa dipped with bread stick
i want to remember how fun it was to feed you french fries with my hands
i want to remember how u smiled at me when i was stealing a glance
i want to remember how u waited for me when i was late.
i want to remember how it felt holding your sweaty palms
I want to remember ALL but my mind just cant hold on.I kept on forgetting and forgetting..i wonder where all my thoughts went when they were gone...

kimchee and dumplings day..

well it has been a long time since i got time for myself and venture into my favourite hobby=cooking!hurrah!
SO today ,let s try to make some korean salad-their national salad=kimchii or gimchee or kimchee(whatever)
i hate garlic but since it was the important ingredient here so i just go along with it.
New cycle was a little taxing on my rest time as the hospital was far in barikadnaya metro near the zoo park which i intended to visit some day ,perhaps in the weekend.
The weather was great!i can be in my fav. miniskirt and sport shoes!woohooo!
Plus i love to jog in the park in front of the hostel where the lake resides.
As i was walking home with my best friend we made a funny poem which rhyme with ows..it was great fun..
i wore bikini at home and lay on my bed pretending it was the beach.OOoo yeah!

The explotion of my head..gone are the bubbles of thoughts

The explotion of my head..gone are the bubbles of thoughts
my head..it just exploded...blood... all over the table..hahahha..they are on the computer,my therapy textbooks,lecture notes i got from some other ppl,mirror,some on the silver ikea table lamp,my family photo with mom and dad smiling on their last vacation and not to miss my cup of unfinished coffee..along side with the caffein pills i was taking for the past 2 months*let me tell u they dont do their work..i was still as sleepy as ever..

IT felt so damn good..no more pulsating ,throbbing pain on the left side..no more worries,no more things to think about...just me and myself...zero....and the wind blew from the window just 50cm away from where i was sitting.It was hot today..only now the wind started to blow..then they brought in some pollents from tht yellow stinking flowers outside...

As annoying as they are like always*causing me itchiness on the skin,and nverending rhinitis ..The pollents stuck themselves to the thick clotted blood on my face,yet some are still trickling down from the forehead to my left cheek..hypercoagulants?nah....hahahhaahhahahaha*wicked!what will i miss most?friends?=the more u have the merrier?NOT! Love?=they are just as hurting as much as they give u pleasure.. Hopes?=i gave up chasing them awhile ago..Food?=nahh...who cares..who need them when u dont have the appetite..Family?=All are flying away from their home..it wasnt the same the last time i checked..

Still,i would rather be here..hoping that u will never find me ,living in this peace i m feeling right now..Or if u want u can join me..in another parallel universe perhaps..

shit..back to me texts now..and testi..coz in 3 more days this exam is gona be over ..hanging on by the thoughts of other ppls hopes on me..

June 05, 2006

fLy like a real butterfly!

Feel free and fly like a butterfly!weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..u must be thinking i was drunk while typing this..nah..it s just my private code so u guys can read it but cant break the code..heheheh.. xD

just a little thoughts i had today

As i was waiting for the teacher to start, i noticed the bad stench from everywhere of the ward. But it has always been this way. The usual area where we took the lift was occupied by a body of an old grey lady.Stomach bloated and yellow discolouration of her skin. Her eyes areas was dark pigmentated. Luckily, she wasn't my patient as whose patient who died will have to rewrite their history.Mine was a lucky happy old lady with 4adult children who cared for her so much that they even hired a private nurse to take care of her. Her eyes are always shining and even if she did have many complaints, she will still be in her high spirit. But this dead old lady has none-no one to claim her, and even the person from the morgue was too busy to collect her. No one remembers her. They left her.

Then i entered the classroom, where i see me great teacher, he is this oldman with alot of knowledge and wisdoms.
If u asked him a simple question, he will throw in a russian proverbs and explain it with examples from our life.
When explain the theme, it was like watching a movie or interesting documentary. He was very captivating and put everything into the smaller picture so we wont be comfused. Then, a thought came by me....My previous professor was very old too. We didnt see him anymore, perhaps he was in pension now or touch wood,he died. God made us this way, our body wasnt made to be immortal. All the wisdom , knowlegde died with us when we leave. So in order to conserve what we discovered in our life, we need to jot it down!or write a book! but then and again, expressing things and seeing the real thing were not the same way to experience the knowlegde. Things are always most of the time better when fresh!Besides, books and materials cant interact with people. But professors can!