Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sometimes it's just too much to handle

With such hectic job in my hands, juggling between newly married life and chasing my dreams is kindda hard.
Initially i thought with him by my side, things will look rosier.
Have to admit i was not realistic enough to realise what was coming into my life.
Not only i still have to work, go on calls, fulfill my part as a daughter, spend time with him, i have more and more debts to pay.

How naive i was, not realising such things would come to me.
Guess honeymoon was over too soon for me.

In modern days,most men only work to support themselves at the same time expecting women to pay their own bills, yet need to keep up with household demands.
Our responsibility grows larger every time the world changes.
Advancing in my financial side, more debts i will have to endure.
The further i go, more things i 'll have to fullfill...

It seemed like never ending of countless sacrifice after another.
Yet, never once i asked for more except some tokens of romanticism and appreciation time to time. So that i wouldnt forget the main reason of all these hardships i have to go through. Simple gestures showing he cared will be more than enough to remind me to continue walking on the hot sand.

But most of the time, he would suprise me with unexpected doubts. They make me think twice and adding fear in me, burning my confident in things i do , my sacrifices.
To add more insult to this, the are more planning for sacrifices to be made for the better future of both of us.

Time to time, i live in doubts but sometimes ignorance is bliss. Walking the unseen path? I am afraid, when can he one say prove to me that all these sacrifices i made and more to be made will be all worth it?

I can only pray.