The explotion of my head..gone are the bubbles of thoughts

The explotion of my head..gone are the bubbles of thoughts
my head..it just exploded...blood... all over the table..hahahha..they are on the computer,my therapy textbooks,lecture notes i got from some other ppl,mirror,some on the silver ikea table lamp,my family photo with mom and dad smiling on their last vacation and not to miss my cup of unfinished coffee..along side with the caffein pills i was taking for the past 2 months*let me tell u they dont do their work..i was still as sleepy as ever..

IT felt so damn good..no more pulsating ,throbbing pain on the left side..no more worries,no more things to think about...just me and myself...zero....and the wind blew from the window just 50cm away from where i was sitting.It was hot today..only now the wind started to blow..then they brought in some pollents from tht yellow stinking flowers outside...

As annoying as they are like always*causing me itchiness on the skin,and nverending rhinitis ..The pollents stuck themselves to the thick clotted blood on my face,yet some are still trickling down from the forehead to my left cheek..hypercoagulants?nah....hahahhaahhahahaha*wicked!what will i miss most?friends?=the more u have the merrier?NOT! Love?=they are just as hurting as much as they give u pleasure.. Hopes?=i gave up chasing them awhile ago..Food?=nahh...who cares..who need them when u dont have the appetite..Family?=All are flying away from their home..it wasnt the same the last time i checked..

Still,i would rather be here..hoping that u will never find me ,living in this peace i m feeling right now..Or if u want u can join me..in another parallel universe perhaps..

shit..back to me texts now..and testi..coz in 3 more days this exam is gona be over ..hanging on by the thoughts of other ppls hopes on me..

June 05, 2006