The art of toilet use

OK, before i start, this topic has many points which will spark up some opinions and have some details that might irk the readers a little bit. Yet they will find what was written here is nothing but the truth. Perhaps fascinating, i hope.

Since year 2001, I studied medicine in a university in Moscow. As you walk pass, you will find beautiful girls with trendy clothes and flashy handbags.Oh ma Ma Mia! Am i in the wrong place? It kept you thinking is the the modelling faculty?

Then, in the rush to nature s call, i find real hard time coping with the public toilets not only in the uni but everywhere i go.

Back in Malaysia, we have these what-the name-toilets on the floor type where women have to squat and pee. But here we have seating toilets, ironically we can't sit on them as the hygienic value in minus 100!.Especially in the uni, the way the toilets were..and still are!!There will be the times when i wished that i have a P**** so i can aim the flow of the excretions into the bowls..Most of the public Toilets are not designed as female-friendly tools.

Back to the Uni story, I wondered how come those beautiful creatures(those beautiful sexy students of the uni each looking like some Miss world contestant or miss models)can violate the toilet in such a way that even in my dreams they became the worst nightmares!

If i drank a little more and go to bed , i will definitely dream of tiring adventures in the search of a proper usable toilet. And guess what..our uni s toilets appeared as often as it can be to haunt me.. Everywhere i go was the gory memories from my toilet trips experience. Either they were overflooded with Uknowwat or pads and tampons dipped in strawberry jams everywhere not to mention unflushable flushes...and in the end i will wake up in cold sweats and my face pale as if i ve seen a ghost ,will sit there for 1 second before realising my bladder is going to explode anytime now!

In the Uni s toilet, we can find multiple sanitary pads (Most has the strawberry jams on them)stuck to the walls, Bins filled up with tissues and toilet papers ,so filled up that they started to flood out from it. I have no choice but to regret having my breakfast with some extra fluids from the carton milk or perhaps tea .....I will tell myself *Shit why did u drank the whole cup of coffee?Don't u already know that coffee are diuretics?*darn! When nature calls we need to go..
So with the long queue on the outside, it was a mystery why does we need to queue when there are about 10 toilets in the ladies room! Then i found out, only 2 of them are working or let me rephrase , working with the lowest possible hygienic status where we can still be able to stand and use it... The rest..er..enter at your own risk..there might be..might be...the nightmares.awaiting...

Sometimes due to short breaks or impatience traits i inherited from my father, i cut line and enter the toilet in which no one was queueing for. And there the unspeakable awaits me..
My eyes will be squandering around look for any signs of disaster coming. Aimed with some tissue papers i held the lock and tried to lock it for some privacy. But there was no lock!

Then it came for the time to think of which pose to use on this particular cubicle. If we stand on the seat, we might spray to our shoes or perhaps jeans need to consider these points..So if we pretend to sit then do we have the strength to push?MY MY..Lord help me..No doubt staying in Moscow for five years definitely made my inner thigh muscles stronger!Thanks to the hygiene of these kind of toilets
Sometimes the unspeakable happens..Like one of your foot slipped and you will fall eewww half way into the gaping water filled hole..Or if you wet your jeans when you flush as the water pressure is unpredictable!Embaressment just to walk out from the cubicle wet and then you still have to attend the lectures!

Sometimes when the locks are not working or missing in action, we have to *ehherm u know* and at the same time maintain the pose in order not to fall flat in to the HOLe with germs and SH*T we have to hold the door in case someone open the door while business is in the process.
Not to mention, i know how it felt when someone open the door and see us in the most unwanted way . Adding to that, most of the energy will be spent on holding the poses and in the end before it ends, we usually gave up. But this means we have to visit this magical kung fu training place...
I usually have mixed feelings while being in the cubicle.Other than that Embaressment, Discomfortness, tiredness, breathelessness, fear of being late, irked, hate, disgusts, ....All the negative emotions are only relieved at the moment of handwashing..
And then..i met the worse nightmare of all nightmares!I went to Ismailovski park and usually it takes hours to shop there in order to find bargains..But how long before our bladder betray us??U tell me!!
So finally i gave up to my natural need..Paid and entered the so called TOI TOI TOILET BOXS!!
My my....The closed box has the smell as great as methane plus ammonias plus donowatshit!!I almost puke on the spot !sweet jesus!help!

But my will was strong i decided to do it!So i squatted down just to find thousand islands of brownies,yellowies,dono watevr bile coloured stuffs floating..Apparently all the wastes are being stored in the box..and only emptied at the end of the day..I cursed the day Ismailovski Park was built and the toilet facility which they apparently had forgotten. But i thank Lord for the pair of cheap boots i got from a bargain!..

To solve this tormenting experience of mine in order not to experience it once again, i remind myself to use the toilet at home before going out and make sure i did not take too much of fluids. Each time i walk pass those TOI Toi city toilet, i would speed up in fear!But yet one day i found a woman eating and having a break inside the toi toi box!!How hilarious..It wasnt so bad when it was emptied afterall..........