AS mo, MOm to be, wife, bla bla

OMG, it has been long forgotten this lil blog of mine!!
Just wanna update bit here and there.

Working as MO in a district hospital at my hometown is hard.
Seeing very ill patients daily. Sometimes, not sure how to manage them.
They can drop like flies.

Being preggy and working oncalls are hard.
I never felt so strong yet so lethargic at the same time.
But the thoughts of my lil precious coming to the world brings my will forward and continue working.

I have to admit there are times i just felt like giving up, treating patients half heartedly.
But i dislike the guilt i felt when i went home. Thinking that person could be someone's love, father, mother, sister. Thus i tried my best but there are really really testing times when i just wana pack my bags and just leave the hospital to back to my bed.

My house had finally became a home for both of us.
Loving each moments there together.
loving the green grass , our dog Bobby.
weekends off have been wonderful here , at home.
We have almost everything we need.
Perhaps not luxury things, not the beautiful things but we have enough..=))

Now i m just waiting to pop. EDD in July 2011
Bought all the things she might need including wow...lots of clothes.
I found a shop selling baby , toddlers cloths for RM 2 per piece. But need to carefully choose your money worth and wash it thoroughly before can use.
We also bought a beautiful baby playpen cum bed...

But i think if things dont change at my work place, i might just consider to apply for transfer.
Environment here is not helping me to grow and develop as a MO.
We are all too tired........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

New house almost ready...love it

The house is situated between 2 main crossroads to Penang and back to Kedah state.
It 's a corner intermediate lot with small piece of land.
Love the huge balcony and the masterbedroom.

Hoping i can spend my days there, need few more pieces of furniture...hehe..

Finally, loving the emergency dept

Thank God, medical was finally over, i am really enjoying the new dept- emergency...
Everything need to be done fast and learning to make fast decision.

Loving time i have for my hubby and friends
Boss was greatest, friends here...wonderful

Now just waiting for my home to be renovated and cant wait to move in..=)

Sometimes it's just too much to handle

With such hectic job in my hands, juggling between newly married life and chasing my dreams is kindda hard.
Initially i thought with him by my side, things will look rosier.
Have to admit i was not realistic enough to realise what was coming into my life.
Not only i still have to work, go on calls, fulfill my part as a daughter, spend time with him, i have more and more debts to pay.

How naive i was, not realising such things would come to me.
Guess honeymoon was over too soon for me.

In modern days,most men only work to support themselves at the same time expecting women to pay their own bills, yet need to keep up with household demands.
Our responsibility grows larger every time the world changes.
Advancing in my financial side, more debts i will have to endure.
The further i go, more things i 'll have to fullfill...

It seemed like never ending of countless sacrifice after another.
Yet, never once i asked for more except some tokens of romanticism and appreciation time to time. So that i wouldnt forget the main reason of all these hardships i have to go through. Simple gestures showing he cared will be more than enough to remind me to continue walking on the hot sand.

But most of the time, he would suprise me with unexpected doubts. They make me think twice and adding fear in me, burning my confident in things i do , my sacrifices.
To add more insult to this, the are more planning for sacrifices to be made for the better future of both of us.

Time to time, i live in doubts but sometimes ignorance is bliss. Walking the unseen path? I am afraid, when can he one say prove to me that all these sacrifices i made and more to be made will be all worth it?

I can only pray.

Monster from hell

The monster from hell who has everything!
life is so unfair
this monster seemed to have perfect life.
from top career to her kind and caring husband...
how can God be so unfair!!>>

She seemed to think as if she is the highest power in the universe...
always making people feeling aweful whenever she;s around...

this week is in sync

From the day i started my posting in O n G, i knew i would enjoy this posting much more than other posting.
My boss is such a nice person, collegues are helpful and cooperative.
Nurses are helpful.
But it s just that sometimes i feel resentful towards the gov policy in this sector.
sometimes felt unappreciated in things i do at work.
Otherwise, this job provides me with new experience new things to learn on daily basis, it s fun to learn and do new things everyday..

My small reception was great
not too expensive, most inportantly i know closely all the guests, i felt it useless to invite ppl i dont know or closely related to such a small reception.
So glad most of the people i cared about and miss since i was posted to sp able to attend this small wedding..

my best friends and closest collegues, family members whom i didnt see for such a long time and old friends from afar came and hopefully enjoyed themselves
i think i do look fat in my gown..haha
but as long as my hubby looked good like a korean star , then i m proud..lols..

registered with my man, went to langkawi=all in such a short time!

It was really unexpected how things between me and my guy went
from the start when we dated each other till we were finally registered
things went smoothly
and i hope tht's the way it ll stay

i was post call on the day i got registered
then the next day we went to langkawi via air asia
the hotel was great- beautiful beach and scenery
but langkawi has nothing much to offer
and i was tired all the while

then when we came back, things went to usual pace again
oncalls and sleepless nights

i cant help but to think that when is this gonna be over..
i just feel so tired and sick of working in this field..
currently looking for new alternatives -in short word for another job..

in this married life, i never felt so attached to someone before,needing him 24/7
to hear his voice , to hear him sing over the radio
to see him enjoying his meal
to wash his hair
to cover him with blanket when he was sleeping
to feel his skin on my hands
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BACK TO USUAL PHASE

my life here in sp was basically sucking the life juice out of me
though time to time
i ll be trying my best to adjust time for myself-swimming, facials and ect
then other important people in life-family,my man,friends
then my finance
somehow with housemanship
all things are difficult to juggle up
need to fix all things
in the end i ended up exhausted, no improvement in my studies
and my room is a mess!
Hardly i can admit tht i m in fact a messy person
i mostly think of myself as the type who will put hings in order and fixated
clothes in the cupboard and dirty ones in the bucket
i used to have a motto back in my uni days living with 2 other roomies in small room
all things which are hidden or well placed wont be messy
as u cant see them lying around and it s easier to find them when u need them
But now i come back to room full of unwashed clothes
i have to really admit to this guilt
i was always buying new cheap collar shirts and undies ,not to mention socks
as i was reluctant to wash them when i have free time
my freetime meaning after 6 pm off work/off oncalls...
i ll go swimming, have nice meal with friends or movie..but the next day,
i will still feel restless..

not to mention there will be some idiots who admit to ward midnight for no good reasons
dont know what to say about them..
like for example
someone who was having diarrhea for 3-4 days but came only at midnight on the 4thday
if u think it s so serious and need to be admitted, then shouldnt u seek earlier treatment instead of coming to us at midnight
when acute patients with real emergencies need us the most?
most probably just wasting our time..coz the next day they ll be sent home..

well, i finished paeds now..in surgical
bit of a suck to day..
nurses not helpful..some MO come only in the morning to see the rest of the pts..
then ask me ..anyone died yet>?>
haha//..

my salary was higher than many ppl but then and again..paying for my study loan
n myvi already booked up 60 percent..really shitty..
somehow time to time i d look back n wonder why i choose this career...
damn.

forgot to add in

I got my pay and quickly bought my car..
i waited for whole long 3 weeks!
then it arrived!
blue myvi..with nice number plate according to my birthdate 8138..
i loved it..
i drove back to home town whenever i had the chance
paying about 600plusplus a month is ok
but no matter how much i earn, the money at the end of month was jus insuficient.
i didnt buy much or eat much
i ate at hospital..trust me food sucks
but better than nothing..
other than that...erm..no cuti lo..
no weekend off..weekend still need to oncall 36hours..
then if not oncall then ok , can go back after round..

poking babies with needles ,being vomitted, touched meconium
and whatever fluid are now norm.. no feeling to them..
just subjects for work..things to do..
to settled before going back.

though there are some interesting cases ive seen...i just wonder
if God ever existed...how come so many bad things can happen..

starting to enjoy nicu

but then i m gonna leave..haha..life slike tht
i had hard time adapting to my working life but now that i m getting jiggy with it
i m soon to leave the department.

summary of these few months

One of the most memorable weeks in my life these few months
is the induction
The next one will be working days
Life has been so busy these few months
I was trying hard to adapt to new place, new people and new responsibility.
Induction was great , made famous for the 3 min speech.
Making new friends and new circles are great.
Feeling ectasy in doing so just playing around while giving 100 % in things we do.
One thing i learn from induction was team work..
So important is the ability to function as a team makes my team the winner of MAlam mesra.
Sumazau dance started with wayang kulit telling how the history start and i was the
choosen maiden of the comunity coming out as the suprise of the night.
Being away from loved ones was hard but not as difficult , i prevously were studying overseas for 6 years and got used to it..However seeing how other people's family send food,new clothes makes me go envious.
Overall induction was great, improve my stamina for housemanship which requires me to
wake up at 5 am and on calls.

Hmm..now about the new responsibility, Hosp. Sultan Abdul Halim was fully aircon
and so far i was only in the Paediatric department. Not much i ve seen around here but my own ward, Melur 1
Kids are always crying, screaming..
Blood and IV to set up was previously difficult for me..but i do hope my adaptation duration will be over and short soon..as i m feeling anxious everytime i walk toward the ward in the morning
I ll be there early and earlier than the rest because i need more time to be ready
as i m still new and many things to prepare.
Being jus hard working i guess wasnt enough. i needed more stamina and knowlegde.
Being able to learn new skills daily ,new cases were great and i love being pushed forward.
However, staying alone in the nurse quarters is a bit hard for me as
I feel lonely at times staring at the wall before going to bed.
I have roomies all my life. Now suddenly i was given privilege to stay in privacy and alone , i have difficulties coping with no one to talk to, or go out with.
Of course, i have not much time left after work but sometimes its great to see some one caring for u.
I definitely miss loved ones all the time being away, but i guess it was written in the stars that i wont have much time to spend with them.
I m living on edge of my financial status..havent got my pay.. so poor..and shitty..

Kl for two weeks

I was in Kl for the past weeks from end of sept until early oct.
For two weeks in didnt water my plants nor hold that 2 year old kid..
But time spent was swift and too fast for me to catch hold.
I was down with fever and chills for about 4-5days.
Hoping really for the transfer to kl for good will work for me..Nothing is certain right now.
Hoping that my choice is the right one too..
Tomorrow shall be another day for test, a test i must pass...
The ultimatum...my driving test..darn!

moles

WikiPedia Moles


First, check your face for any moles, and then look at the diagram above to identify the number(s) that are a closest match to the moles on your face. Usually, the moles only hold meaning for you if they are prominent and they are the only one. If your face if full of spots, acne or “little” moles, they do not count. When you’ve ascertained which position corresponds to
the mole on your face, look up the meanings listed by numbers below.



Position 1 to 3
As a child, you are somewhat rebellious and a free spirit. You have an innate creativity and work best when you are given a free hand. Generally, your superiors like your avante garde approach to life. If you have a mole here, you are far better off in business and being your own boss rather than working for somebody. What is promising is that you have the luck to be your own boss.

Position 4
You are an impulsive person, often acting with a flamboyance that gives you charisma and a sparkling personality, but you can be difficult when there are too many opinions. You tend to be rather argumentative, but never to the point of holding grudges. This mole tends to give you an explosive temper and should you decide to remove it, you will find yourself becoming calmer and more at peace with the world.

Position 5
A mole above the eyebrow indicates that there is wealth luck in your life, but you will need to earn it and work harder than most people. All the income you make must be carefully kept as there are people who are jealous of you who might attempt to sweet talk you into parting with your wealth. Be wary of those who try to interest you in get-rich-quick schemes. If you
have a mole here, it is advisable not to be too trusting of others. Follow your instincts and be cautious. And never allow other people to control your finances.

Position 6
A mole here indicates intelligence, creativity and skill as an artist. Your artistic talent can bring you wealth, fame and success. It also indicates wealth luck, but this can only be fully realized if you follow your heart rather than stick to conventional means of making a living. Success will come if you are brave.

Position 7
Moles under the eyebrows indicate arguments within the extended family that cause you grief and unhappiness. This will affect your work and livelihood. It is advisable to settle any differences you have with your relatives if you want peace of mind to move ahead.

Position 8
This is not a very good position for a mole. Your financial position will constantly be under strain because of a tendency to overspend. You also have a penchant for gambling. The only thing is you must know when to stop. Meanwhile, someone with a mole here has a tendency to flirt with members of the opposite sex as well as with the same sex. Better be a little discerning where you exert your charms, or you might get into trouble.

Position 9
This mole position suggests sexual and other problems. It is an unfortunate mole and you are well advised to get rid of it. It brings a litany of woes and a parade of problems.

Position 10
A mole here just under the nose indicates excellent descendants luck. You are surrounded by family at all times and will have many children and grandchildren. You have the support of those close to you and will be both materially and emotionally fulfilled.

Position 11
Moles here suggest a tendency to succumb to illness. It is a good idea to have this mole removed especially if it is a large, dark-coloured mole. Otherwise use lots of foundation to cover it.





Position 12
A mole here foretells a successful but also a very balanced life. You are likely to be not just rich, but famous as well. But although you have every opportunity to live the high life, you will have a satisfying home and family life as well. Women with moles here are particularly lucky and tend to be beautiful and glamourous as well.

Position 13
Your children will be a big worry in your life. Your relationship with them is not good. There is nothing much you can do about this except to learn some tolerance.

Position 14
A mole here suggests a vulnerability to food which can be a big problem in your life. You may have allergies against certain foods or you may simply be eating too much.

Position 15
You are a person always on the move and constantly renovating and redesigning your house. You like to be introduced to new things and see new places. You are not happy if you remain in one place for long. You enjoy travel and adventure, and have a very observant eye.

Position 16
You need to be careful when it comes to eating, and also when it comes to your sex life. These are your two biggest problems. You tend to have weight issues which can make you depressed. You enjoy romance, sometimes with more than one person, but because you are a person with some morality, you will feel guilty about it and this will cause you much stress.

Position 17
You will be someone of great social prominence. You are active on the social scene and an excellent conversationalist. There is a tendency to become bigheaded about your success, which could lose you your good name. This will affect you deeply because you draw your confidence and self worth from what others think of you.

Position 18
You are a person always on the move. There is a great deal of overseas travel in your life, but you should take extra care each time you cross the great waters, as your mole prefers you to stay at home.

Position 19
You have money luck and many good friends, so this is a good mole to have. Your weakness is that you tend to succumb to the charms of the opposite sex. In your life, it is this that could get you into hot water, so do cool your ardour!

Position 20
A mole here can be very lucky or very unlucky. If you have a mole here, you are destined either for extreme fame or infamy. You have great flair for creativity and are also highly intelligent, but your talents can be used for both good and bad. You are not a person to be trifled with for you are no pushover and do not forgive and forget easily. This mole is a mark of
someone who will go down in history either as a great or as a tyrant.

Position 21
This is a good mole, as it suggests plenty to eat and drink throughout your life. This mole also brings fame and recognition.

Position 22
Your life is always happy and things go smoothly for you. You could well become a sports superstar if you have the passion for it. Moles at the end of eyebrows also suggest a person of authority and power, so if you are the CEO of a company, you will do very well.

Position 23
You have a high IQ, and you are both brain smart and street smart. You have a highly-developed survival instinct and will lead a meaningful and long life. You will be active until a very old age and will have friends and family around you till the very end.

Position 24
You will achieve fame and fortune in your young age and you are advised to use this period to safeguard your old age, as people with moles here tend to have a harderlife as they get older.

Position 25
You will enjoy good prosperity and recognition luck, but do be careful of excesses. Stay traditional in your attitudes and you will have a long and fruitful life.

Look at your face and check!

Many great things...but.tht one thing...

It was a great week i took my driving lesson yesterday and had great fun..
But for me to start the journey with 1st gear was ..haha..what can i say, hurm...i tend to go too fast when i start my journey...impatient...
Then i went for job hunting, too bored for my own good staying at home
needed some cash too..Hoping to get a car of my own soon..Hoping that i can use the car before my induction and right after my driving test...woohh..talking bout that, i m pretty nervous..So many things are out of our control it seemed..i hate the feeling of losing control especially in things i deal with..Prayers will calm me down but it seemed like every breath i took i was praying but for something else..or shall i say someone else..
There was one story i read short story indeed.
Once long time ago lived all the feelings in the same island
Sad, happy, knowlegde, ego , and of course Love
Then suddenly the island was sinking...
Sad found a boat and took it, happy took the air balloon and others too have their own way of going away except love..
Love stayed as he shouted for help but happy cant hear him because he was on cloud nine...Love saw Sad but he couldnt help him as he was too sinking deeper into the ocean..
At last came along someone, he took Love in his arms and saved him..
Love said thanks and ask who was this person...and yes he is TIME..
because only time can save Love
Only time can prove Love
Only time to learn about Love
and lastly Only Time can put Love back to its place..
So take time to learn to love and be patient to love.
Well the story was fun but i guess it was a little irrelevant.

I found two jobs -one at a bookstore and another as tuition teacher at kumon..i went today for the bookstore and tomorrow for the kumon, but of course i would prefer to be a parttime tuition teacher rather than working mindlessly in bookstore..unless the supervisor could offer me a proper mind goggling job. I already feel as if fungus growing in my brains right now.

What the heck- proteinuria in med check up report

Two weeks ago i went for medical check up, then Dr.Hema-someone i knew from my past practical in Hosp. Seberang Jaya she found out that there's proteinuria in my dipstick urine test.
The lab technician wrote nil for all as the next test might be negative as well. But this doc insisted on putting it on the record there stating that i am not that fit but able to work.
I got really upset. As the next urine test and blood tests came out normal and negative for any pathology.
I went again today and the dipstick test is still normal! That doctor is really something!!*angry!

Water flow upwards....

We , not most of us but some of us are living in a long queue in which the person who cared for me will be behind me. I 'd sometimes turn back but it somehow never connects. So does the person in front of me.
When we been through alot, things will go backwards.
The more you know the more you dont know. You 'll gain wisdom but yet you gain more doubts. You 'll keep asking and continue the search for the truth but yet never satisfied with the answers you found. In the end , you ' ll ask yourself for the answers hoping that you already knew.

Passed first part of driving test

hey hey..it wasnt hard at all!

My birthday...

Hmm..the birthday eve was spent with someone..Took me to dinner somewhere for western food. I was really happy that someone remembered and it seemed he did fullfill part of my wish.
Then on the night of 13th, i had dinner with my grandparents and family.
I was alright and thankful we are all still here. That 's the best gift i ve ever got.

Malaysia wasnt the place i remembered

I ve been back to my hometown for about 2 weeks now. The first day of arrival i rested in my cousin's condo. Ashley looks the same everything was the same but the feeling was slightly different.
I went through a gruesome time during the flight. I went to the airport Domodedova 1pm and took flight 6pm. I reached Cairo, Egypt about 8pm and sat at the Cairo airport untill 5am before heading to Mumbai ,India.
During that time i met a friend from Cameroon. He is studying in Kursk Medical University 5th year student but due to financial problem, he aborted his studies to 6th year.
I got no water to drink or anything to eat but luckily i found my 2 usd in my pocket and bought a bottle of mineral water. We shared the drink and he offered me his russian bun but i was reluctant coz it wasnt enough for him as well..haha..
Finally our passport and tickets were ready (i wonder why this stupid airport kept all our documents-passport n boarding pass) i was worried if they (airport officials) lost our passports!seriously dumb system. They took our passport and ticket of purchase and print the boarding pass 2 hours upon flight...
Then i sat inside the plane in Mumbai, crossing over the terrains houses or flats half built..
Finally i reached KLIA. Dr Choong was kind enough to send me back to my cousin's condo and the next morning was 30th july..what a hectic day..
Rushed to different buildings in putrajaya to settle the MMC, SPA and KKM stuff..Such a long process..but luckily it was done on the same day. The ride back to Penang.
On Wednesday evening, i took ride on bus to Johor meeting Wenli and her family.
It was 2day and 1 night stay at her parent's home. I enjoyed the trip except for the long ride about 9-10 hours in the bus which left my knee joints aching.
And then i was back on saturday. And yesterday 11 aug, i went for my medical check ups , took oath. All for the KKM.
Today i went over to driving school as i need to retake my car license!damn....waste of money and time..but i need it..my mom kept it for me but yet forgot to renew it.
Now i need to study the 500 mcqs...=((

Wow! i guess i ll be eaving Moscow for good this time.

Though i m happy to leave for some reasons but i m also sad.
I guess the furnitures i have here( bed, table , shelves and etc) are much better than those at home...I m so gonna miss my roomie and friends..and of course the Korean family..No matter how i took them for granted, they are aways there for me until the end. wahhh .....